Day forty-nine...

Today has been good, masha'Allah! Not perfect, but I'm pleased with my eating and how I feel too. I had a shake for breakfast then a light lunch and a light dinner. I slipped up a bit when I ate two oreo cookies (my personal enemy). Still, I feel that I rebounded nicely and didn't let it overtake my success for the day. I didn't overdo it so insha'Allah I got it out of my system. Although, with oreos its never really out of the system. I think of oreos and doritos like drugs. I feel out of control around them and thats why I usually don't even let myself have a taste. (sometimes not even a smell:) It's very hard to explain... those two things are too hard for me to resist. I am pleased with today and I pray that tomorrow will be better and I pray that Allah, the Most High, gives me success and increases me in results...ahmeen.

Day forty-eight...

I've been doing well lately, masha'Allah. Today I had a shake for breakfast and a light lunch then I didn't really feel like a meal for dinner so I opted to have another shake. It was nice, masha'Allah. I've been worried about slipping so much lately that I was kinda panicking. I am feeling better though now and I know that I will be able to stay on track, insha'Allah. I have a better picture of how I want to look than ever before. Insha'Allah that will help me to achieve my goal of being healthy, thin, confident and beautiful. I will try harder to post daily... I've been slippin'! Well, its off to bed for me now... zzzzzzzz...

I'm back...

Day forty-five... I think... I've gotta get on track with that, insha'Allah. Im back on track... I am so happy to be on track too! I was really starting to beat myself up about my lack of control this week. Well, purely by the Mercy of Allah, alone, I am back on track now! I will push myself to continue and push myself to post daily again. I had nice meals today and a shake for dinner, it was nice. I know that I will fall right back into place with my plan, insha'Allah. I can hardly wait to see the thin me under all this other stuff. May Allah make it easy for me...ahmeen!

End of day forty-two...

I feel myself slipping these days. I have gotta get back into my groove of eating according to reason not desire. I will get there, insha'Allah. I know that these days have been a bit difficult and the temptations have been pretty much unlimited, still, I've gotta get it together. So much food has been pouring through the doors of the house due to the situation, may Allah reward all those who have helped...ahmeen. I don't really have a good reason for eating... but then again, thats how my addiction works, right? I must resist and take hold of myself. I can't let myself fall back into old habits, insha'Allah. Today will be much better, insha'Allah... I will abide by my plan and I will feel better, insha'Allah. I will, by the Mercy and Will of Allah alone, be a thin, healthy, happier woman... I will try to make more time for updates, insha'Allah. I can't let myself return to the 'old' me...thats unbearable... may Allah make it easy for me... ahmeen.

Relapse...

I think that today is day 41... I'm only unsure because my life has been turned upside down lately due to the death of a dear family member. I have gotta get back on track though now. I've eaten too much the past few days and now I'm back, insha'Allah. I will post more later, insha'Allah.

Day thirty-seven...

Sorry, I didn't feel much like blogging yesterday. I am so excited that I've been keeping it going now for 37 days. This is a huge accomplishment for me, masha'Allah! I've been staying on my plan well, masha'Allah. Yesterday I got the bright idea to split up my shake and only put one scoop of the slim fast in the shake and then have another the same for dinner. Well, I didn't have any energy because my body really missed the nutrients. So today, I was back to the regular method of preparation, masha'Allah. I had pizza for lunch, but didn't really over eat. Although it was fattening, Im not sad because I am really in control of my eating, may Allah make it easy for me to stay on track...ahmeen. I've done well, I can't complain.... Just gotta keep up the struggle and not get too confident...

hmmm...

Well, today went very well, masha'Allah! Thats the end of day 35! That is cool, huh? Today I've been thinking alot about how I will look after losing the weight. I keep asking myself... will you be beautiful or ehhh??? Crazy huh?  I don't know how I will feel when I can actually sit in a room full of people and not try to cover my belly somehow. I've been doing that all my life and I wonder if I will ever feel confident in myself enough to break that habit. My face is changing, masha'Allah. I am seeing that my face is actually not round... I wonder how I will look??? Im nervous and excited at the same time. Insha'Allah I will be pleased when I get there. 
Todays eating went good. I had a shake for breakfast, literally a few bites for lunch and a few bites for dinner. I drank lots of water although if any of you sees lemon pepper tang on the shelf...DON'T buy it!!! That stuff is soooo nasty! I almost threw up... literally! I did have two diet pepsis though... that's not great but its not a frequent thing that I do. I had one with lunch and one after dinner. I don't know... all this thinking about my looks and realizing how low my self-esteem really is kinda made me want a snack... I did resist the urge to snack like I used to though. That really is an accomplishment. Before I would have gotten a few packs of oreos and pretzels and coffee and what ever else I could get my hands on from the kitchen. However, tonight I enjoyed a cup of coffee and then a handful of pretzel sticks with my diet pepsi. I didn't over indulge at all, masha'Allah! Well, I've gotta stay focused! I've got a long road still ahead and I can't afford to get lazy or relax at all. I must keep working every moment to get from thick to thin, insha'Allah!