Word of the day...

Tolerable...
The discomfort is tolerable :) Alhamdulillah :)

Day one-twenty-three...

Well, I've been a bit down this week... I don't really know why... I have been trying to get my eating back under control. I started having shakes twice a day now... hoping for more results. I feel alot better when I'm having them twice too. Im exhausted right now! I haven't been sleeping too well. Im not really sure if tonight will be any better... its after one a.m. now and I'm still up... although I am actually tired. I don't know how I will sleep, considering that I got a minor burn on my leg today. Its nothing major... masha'Allah... but it still hurts :( I took some Ibuprofen earlier and that seemed to help with my discomfort. Still, the leg that got burned is on my left leg and that is the leg that is usually under the cover when I sleep... Im not sure how Im gonna get comfy tonight :( I was in the bathroom and for some reason boiling hot water came through the istinga hose and it burst... burning my leg before I was able to jump up and stumble into the tub. I was truly frightened... Alhamdulillah... I am truly thankful it was so minor... it truly could have been much worse... Im horribly afraid of the bathrooms now... thats the second time that Ive burned myself although this time is much worse. Now we've gotta get a new hose and the pipe needs to be fixed too... ahhh... Ive gotta share a bathroom with my craze kids for a bit... thats never fun :( Well, at least it wasn't major :)

Word of the day...

Incredulity...
This is what I must resist feeling...

Day one-sixteen...

I've gotta get back to updating this blog daily... anyway, the last few days have been pretty good. Yesterday I had shakes all day long in preparation for my evening meal and that went pretty good, masha'Allah. I did eat a bit more than I should have but it was because we had company and they brought delicious food. Still, my will-power is lacking a bit :( Today has started out pretty good but its still early. May Allah bless  me with will-power... ahmeen. I feel huge actually. I think I'm just bloated or something but its getting on my nerves and I am eager for it to go down. I've been drinking crazy amounts of water trying to flush out my system but its not really working. I feel better in the mornings though. I'm okay now but I know that later I might feel huge again. I know that I need to kick it up a notch and then maybe even my bloatings wont seem too bad... hmmm thats a thought :)

Day one-twelve...

This has been a very trying week... as for my diet that is. :( Im having a bit of trouble with my will power at the moment. I really want to get on track but its just so difficult. I don't know why that is exactly. I feel so depressed about it too. I know that Ive gotta just chalk up the last few days and start over but its harder than it should be. Im no good with temptations right now thats for sure. I really wish that I were not like this. I would love to never have to deal with this embarrassing side of myself... the side of me that is addicted to something that I must have to survive. I've gotta push through this. I've come so far now to let this little (although to me it seems huge) bump in the path mess me up. I've gotta get it together!!! I need more patience with my cravings and more self-control. I will get it together insha'Allah... I know that I am important enough to get through this and accomplish great things in this life, insha'Allah. I will keep moving my feet in the right direction and I won't worry about my mis-steps of the past. Insha'Allah I will get where I need to be, insha'Allah...
 

Word of the day...

Vociferous...
Yep... thats how it is with a house full of crazy kids...

Day one-oh-eight...

Well, today has been really great as far as my plan is concerned. I had a shake for breakfast and dinner and I ate a nice lunch. I am pleased with my will power today. I am praying that I can last though... my darlin' hubby brought home a pack of those...horrible... yummy... delicious... evil... Oreos... I'm not sure how to resist... Ive gotta give it alot of effort though. Its so hard not to nibble... especially since I plan on curling up with a book to enjoy my evening... when my extremely LOUD girls finally go to bed. I like to nibble while I read... well... I'll see if I can resist...

Word of the day...

Starstruck...
This is the only word to describe my experience today when we were out and I caught a glimpse of a Porsche Panamera (4 door Porsche)...sleek... gorgeous... Then I saw a canary yellow Chevy Camero with black racing stripes... just like Bumble Bee in Transformers the Movie... man... that was some breathtaking muscle for a car... and of course don't forget the other blood red Camero I say... sweet. Oh yeah, I have to mention the sexy red Ferrari that was smoothly parked in the parking deck when we went to the movies last week...Definitely... starstruck :)

Day one-oh-six...

Alhamdulillah, I am feeling a bit better today :) I still have a headache but its endurable. I got out of the house today... I rode along with my darlin' hubby while he ran a few errands.  Nothing spectacular, but still nice. My eating has been kinda crazy. I'm trying to lower my portion sizes which seems to be difficult these days... I'm not over doing it too much in the food dept. but I keep skipping snacks and sometimes meals... I've gotta get it under control in order to progress. I'm a bit upset with myself... I have been having so much trouble with craving more food lately. I don't know why but I just have trouble clearing my head of it. I know that this is one of my major issues that I've been fighting since day one and I am saddened by the fact that it is still an issue after 106 days. But then again, 106 days is a huge accomplishment and I am pleased to have made it this far and I can't complain about that at all, masha'Allah... may Allah give me many more days to improve and much success in doing it... ahmeen. I know that one day I'm gonna have to suck it up and actually do the exercise that I have been avoiding. Im so hardheaded!!! Ive really gotta get over my aversion to working out. I know that when I get going that it will be worth it. I don't know... I might start that soon...

Word of the day...

Bewildered...
This is exactly how I feel sometimes... totally confused :)

A rough patch...

I have spent the last six days dealing with a bit of a stomach virus of such... I had migraines too... not the most pleasant time for me. I'm feelin' better now, masha'Allah, still... my diet has been suffering. I have been skipping meals and eating too some that are too big... as I would feel overly hungry when I did feel hungry... I hope that I didn't mess up too much. Im pleased with things though... Ive been drinking lots of water... that really has helped alot with helping me to recover from this stomach thing... man... stomach aches are not pretty... I was a total hermit most of this week... a couple of days I think I only left my room maybe twice... Thankfully I have help with my kids... that truly is a blessing and may Allah bless Haylah with all that is good in this life and the hereafter too... ahmeen. Well, I hope to be back on track tomorrow... I am hoping to get back into my plan... I've been slippin' and I don't want for that to become a habit... gotta find my will-power... I know its there somewhere ;)

Word of the day...

Apprehensive...
I don't know... this just seems to be me today...

Day ninety-eight...

Everything has been going okay with my eating but still... I'm feeling a bit 'dumpy' today :( Ive been busy reading alot... thats a good thing but still... I'm down a bit. hmmm... insha'Allah tomorrow will be better :) Im happy to have made it this far... guess I should say a wimpy little 'yay me' :)

Day ninety-six...

Today has been pretty good, although I did somethings that were pretty crazy... I ate a piece of cake that had been sitting out and I thought it was okay and got sick... after a horrible belly ache... which I drank tons of water to flush my system... I did start to feel better. I messed up again when I was enjoying my quiet time so much that I actually forgot to eat lunch :) I ended up feeling weak and sickly by the time our book club was meeting. I ate some falafel (which was amazing) and some other snacks... that helped a bit, although I ate like five or six pieces of falafel though :) I went out with my sweet, darlin' hubby and we had a wonderful evening :) We didn't eat at a fancy restaurant, instead we grabbed a kefta sandwhich from at-Tazaj and went to see IronMan2 at the theater... which was a totally awesome movie!!! I like it much better than the first one... if I do say so myself :) All in all... it was a fantastic day and I have really enjoyed all of it! My house is still quiet as my sweet babies are all still at their grandparents until tomorrow :) Insha'Allah, I plan on reading and enjoying the rest of this wonderful night that Allah has truly blessed me with :)
Oh yeah... I can't believe I have already made it 96 days... that is unbelievable!!! I truly pray that Allah gives me much success in this and allows me to continue until I reach another 96 days and much, much more... ahmeen.