Word of the day...

Incredulous...
This is a new word for me... I like its meaning though... enjoy!

Day sixty-five...

Yuck!!! Thats how I feel today in a nutshell! I'm just feelin' pretty yucky!!! All is going well though with my plan, thats good, masha'Allah. Still, I pray that tomorrow I will be feelin' much better, insha'Allah. I just want to sleep and be a total lazy bum today... I guess I'll have to update later and let ya know how that goes...

A long hard night...

Well, I was up most of the night. That usually doesn't bother me though, I'm a night owl. However, after my tiring trip to the emergency room yesterday, I was exhausted. Still, I had to make sure that I didn't over sleep and miss the time for my sons treatment. So, I stayed up. It worked, but I over slept for the one after that:-( Oh well, no one is perfect, certainly not me. My plan is going good so far today. Last night I only had two pieces, not to bad, insha'Allah.

Word of the day...

Repentance...
This is really a blessing! And may Allah forgive me of all my sins and bless me each day to come...

Pizza, pizza...

Alhamdulillah, my son is ok, but he has an infection in his chest. We got antibiotics and more. It's late so pizza is on the menu for dinner:) good thing I've been good today:)

Out of breath...

Well, I am at the emergency room with my son, who is having asthma problems. Alhamdulillah, he is fine now. He is just having a few breathing treatments. He's happy though. He likes to sit in the bed, with his super hero mask (the oxygen mask) and watch cartoons. I have been doing really well today with my plan. I've already had two shakes. I did something that was so fun! I painted a room in the house, just on a whim. It felt amazing! Well, I better get back to my sick baby boy.

Word of the day...

Defenestrate...
I just learned this word today and I really like it... It means to throw something out of a window... sooooo funny!!! I've gotta find ways to use this, my kids will like it too, insha'Allah.

Day sixty-three...

The past two days have been amazingly great as far as my plan is concerned. I am very pleased with how things have been going, masha'Allah. I switched to having my meal earlier in the day so that I can let the last meal be a shake. I think this is good because the shakes fill me up and therefore, help prevent my night nibbles. Also, It's more difficult for my body to digest a meal late than a shake. I have seen an immediate improvement with my self-control and with the way my clothes are fitting. Today I was craving eggs with cheese and hot-dogs(we use that instead of sausage). I had this for breakfast and I was very happy with that. I had my shake for lunch and a shake later too. I did have a couple of snacks that were nice, masha'Allah, including fruit. I need more water today though. Insha'Allah, tomorrow will be a better day... Well, I'm off...

Word of the day...

Vicarious...
This is still on of my favorite words... I learned it in high school and it still holds my attention...

The end of fried chicken...

Day 61...Wow! I'm feelin' great to have lasted this far... Thats like years for someone like me that is a 'start stopper' by nature. I can only thank Allah, the Most Merciful, for this. I have been drinking shakes two times a day and having one real meal at dinner time. The problem is that I have become addicted to frying chicken for dinner. I've gotta break away from this and get back on my healthier meals. Even though I don't overeat, its still too much oil. Well, today my belly is actually hurting from the fried chicken I had last night. I think my diet has induced an unusual craving for the stuff. I've gotta resist though. Im sure that it will not be good for my progress. I hope to be able to resist the urge to fry it tonight, insha'Allah. Funny though... I've never wanted fried chicken so much in my life...funny. Diets can really mess with your mind sometimes. I've gotta go healthy again. I WILL BE STRONG!!! insha'Allah :)
well, thats all for now... still hangin' in there... thats somethin' to be pleased with...

Word of the day...

Queasy...
Yeah, just read the next post and you'll know exactly why this is my choice today.

Day fifty-eight...

Well, today started out pretty normal... I had my shake for breakfast and then I was planning on having a meal for lunch since a friend cooked some fish for us. I was soooo hungry and had a snack about 2 hours before lunch was to be served. When the food arrived I was very hungry, even after having had my snack earlier. I fixed a plate, cautiously since the smell of the fish seemed to be sending my tummy into a whirl wind. I sat down to eat and realized very shortly after my first few bites that the nausea in my tummy wasn't gonna subside. I couldn't eat the fish. Just a side note here... I'm not a huge fish eater anyway so this isn't exactly the first time I've turned down this type of food. So, I ended up having another shake instead. I then had chicken and rice for dinner, although I think I would have been completely satisfied with another shake... that would have been bad though... I've gotta have a real meal at least once a day...right??? Well, I'm feelin' much better now... Alhamdulillah! I am enjoying an ice cold diet pepsi right now and that is exactly what I needed. I'm still loading up on water though so don't fret about that. I'm being a pretty good little lady lately... still I need to increase my exercise... more like include :) Okay, gotta go now... till tomorrow... stay strong and remember that Allah can do anything, even change the way I think of food... :)

Word of the day...

Endure...
This word carries a great meaning. Something to ponder...

Day fifty-seven...

Exhaustion... this has been the main feeling throughout today. I did well with my plan, alhamdulillah. I had a shake for breakfast and lunch with a light snack although I did fall into having a small amount of chips... something in which I usually don't even crave. Still, with that slip I don't think it did too much damage. I had a yummy milkshake after dinner... the real deal... not slim fast. It was a yummy dreamy treat. I drank that then promptly fell out in the sofa chair. Funny huh?

Word of the day...

Fantastical...
I heard this word used recently and I just liked the sound of it... nice huh?

Day fifty-six...

Today was pretty good, masha'Allah. I did well with my plan and thats good. I had a shake for breakfast and lunch. I had a small piece of fish (left overs) with a slice of cheese on top for a snack. Haylah made some Moroccan bread and I had that for another snack. I had a nice dinner too. I probably should have eaten less at dinner time though. Still, I'm pleased with my day. Alhamdulillah! I also managed to drink lots of water... always a plus. I pray that tomorrow will be better and that I see more results soon.

Bye, bye day fifty-five...

I'm pleased with how today has turned out. My sister-in-law is visiting and she and I cooked dinner together. It was very yummy, masha'Allah. We made chicken and rice with eggplant, cauliflower and onions. She also fried fish. Yummy!!! It was really nice, masha'Allah. Oh yeah, don't forget the salad... It has been a very successful day for me and I thank only Allah for that. I pray that each day is successful and that I see more results soon... ahmeen.

Word of the day...

Squeeze...
I just like this word... hey, I think its interesting. 

mmm...

I woke up this morning hungry like a bear... therefore, I ate eggs with cheese and not a shake. It was sooo yummy! I plan on having my shake for lunch, insha'Allah. I've gotta get back to drinking more water. I have been slipping in the water department lately and I realize that I get way hungrier when I'm not drinking enough of it. Lately it tastes horrible to me. I think I'm gonna squeeze a little lemon in it to help with that insha'Allah. I've been thinking... I want to do a word of the day thing... yeah, just a word to ponder or a word that I just like the sound of... I'll post a new one each day... I won't be for vocabulary purposes, rather just for fun. enjoy!

Day fifty-four...

Today has been really nice, masha'Allah. I ate a very light breakfast, as I really wanted eggs with cheese this morning. I had a shake for lunch and went out to dinner with my hubby. It was pretty satisfying, masha'Allah. Even though I went out for dinner I feel like today was a big accomplishment for me. I didn't overdo it... Im happy today... thats something.

Day fifty-three...

Alhamdulillah, today turned out to be nice. I was feelin' pretty down this morning but things did get better for me. Haylah put highlights in my hair and that really pepped me up, because I like to look nice. Then we went to a friends for dinner and even though I wasn't too thrilled about going at first I really enjoyed myself. I don't really know why I didn't feel up to it before, just in a slump emotionally I guess. Still, I was happy that I went in the end. The food was great and I prepared myself by only having shakes all day long. That way I didn't feel guilt for enjoying myself. I got dressed, did my new hair and put on make-up. All things that I really didn't know I had the patience to do. It turned out nice though. I felt pretty and that is priceless. Each day brings me closer to being the person I want to be. I've gotta just stay focused and not let my mistakes get me down too much. I can do this, insha'Allah. This is already day 53 and that is amazing!!! I can do it! I can shed this outer shell of a person and reveal the thinner, sexier, prettier, healthier me within!!! So my day ends with a smile... :) And all praise belongs to Allah the One and Only!!!

speechless...

I feel a flood of mixed emotions today. Earlier I was telling my hubby how I feel like I'm really making a life change and that for the first time in my life I actually feel like I will really change. It makes me happy to feel that I am changing my way of life and with that I am protecting myself from the stresses of regaining the weight. I was so content earlier. Well, now I feel so mixed. I am sitting here struggling to resist the urge to eat. I know that this will probably never go away. Still, I wish it were easier. I want to eat emotionally and that is not good right now. I need to take a step back and refocus. I don't want to make a mistake. I will be good though, insha'Allah. I am just very emotional right now... you know women and their emotions... :) well, today has been great, except for my extreme gush of emotions. I will make it though and tomorrow will be easier, insha'Allah.
end of day 51!!! (that ain't nothin' to complain about!)

Yay!!! Day fifty!!!!!

I'm so happy to announce that this is day fifty!!! That is amazing to me, masha'Allah. I can't believe that I have been at it this long. I am really seeing results too, completely by the Mercy of Allah alone. My clothes are getting looser and that is great!!! (actually it's pretty fantastic)
Today I did have a moment of weakness when my neighbor brought us a delicious pineapple upside down cake... yeah.... very delicious... and to say the least, I didn't know that just from others reactions... I actually had some. That wouldn't have been the worst thing were it not for the mini pizzas that my other friend brought. I had too much of that stuff and really started to beat myself up about it. I know, I know... tomorrow is another day, I would just like to have more days where I do the right thing and don't give in to the temptations. Insha'Allah they are coming. Today was just today, meaning that I don't have to take it with me, tomorrow will be new and there are plenty of chances for me to correct my mistakes, insha'Allah. 
I've also been beating myself up about what I call total stupidity... I keep thinking... why didn't I lose the weight when I was young??? I would have been much more beautiful then... Now I feel so old... but still losing the weight is better for me and I will probably feel younger without it, insha'Allah. I've just gotta keep tellin' myself that.
well, I'll check in tomorrow, insha'Allah.

Day forty-nine...

Today has been good, masha'Allah! Not perfect, but I'm pleased with my eating and how I feel too. I had a shake for breakfast then a light lunch and a light dinner. I slipped up a bit when I ate two oreo cookies (my personal enemy). Still, I feel that I rebounded nicely and didn't let it overtake my success for the day. I didn't overdo it so insha'Allah I got it out of my system. Although, with oreos its never really out of the system. I think of oreos and doritos like drugs. I feel out of control around them and thats why I usually don't even let myself have a taste. (sometimes not even a smell:) It's very hard to explain... those two things are too hard for me to resist. I am pleased with today and I pray that tomorrow will be better and I pray that Allah, the Most High, gives me success and increases me in results...ahmeen.

Day forty-eight...

I've been doing well lately, masha'Allah. Today I had a shake for breakfast and a light lunch then I didn't really feel like a meal for dinner so I opted to have another shake. It was nice, masha'Allah. I've been worried about slipping so much lately that I was kinda panicking. I am feeling better though now and I know that I will be able to stay on track, insha'Allah. I have a better picture of how I want to look than ever before. Insha'Allah that will help me to achieve my goal of being healthy, thin, confident and beautiful. I will try harder to post daily... I've been slippin'! Well, its off to bed for me now... zzzzzzzz...

I'm back...

Day forty-five... I think... I've gotta get on track with that, insha'Allah. Im back on track... I am so happy to be on track too! I was really starting to beat myself up about my lack of control this week. Well, purely by the Mercy of Allah, alone, I am back on track now! I will push myself to continue and push myself to post daily again. I had nice meals today and a shake for dinner, it was nice. I know that I will fall right back into place with my plan, insha'Allah. I can hardly wait to see the thin me under all this other stuff. May Allah make it easy for me...ahmeen!

End of day forty-two...

I feel myself slipping these days. I have gotta get back into my groove of eating according to reason not desire. I will get there, insha'Allah. I know that these days have been a bit difficult and the temptations have been pretty much unlimited, still, I've gotta get it together. So much food has been pouring through the doors of the house due to the situation, may Allah reward all those who have helped...ahmeen. I don't really have a good reason for eating... but then again, thats how my addiction works, right? I must resist and take hold of myself. I can't let myself fall back into old habits, insha'Allah. Today will be much better, insha'Allah... I will abide by my plan and I will feel better, insha'Allah. I will, by the Mercy and Will of Allah alone, be a thin, healthy, happier woman... I will try to make more time for updates, insha'Allah. I can't let myself return to the 'old' me...thats unbearable... may Allah make it easy for me... ahmeen.

Relapse...

I think that today is day 41... I'm only unsure because my life has been turned upside down lately due to the death of a dear family member. I have gotta get back on track though now. I've eaten too much the past few days and now I'm back, insha'Allah. I will post more later, insha'Allah.

Day thirty-seven...

Sorry, I didn't feel much like blogging yesterday. I am so excited that I've been keeping it going now for 37 days. This is a huge accomplishment for me, masha'Allah! I've been staying on my plan well, masha'Allah. Yesterday I got the bright idea to split up my shake and only put one scoop of the slim fast in the shake and then have another the same for dinner. Well, I didn't have any energy because my body really missed the nutrients. So today, I was back to the regular method of preparation, masha'Allah. I had pizza for lunch, but didn't really over eat. Although it was fattening, Im not sad because I am really in control of my eating, may Allah make it easy for me to stay on track...ahmeen. I've done well, I can't complain.... Just gotta keep up the struggle and not get too confident...

hmmm...

Well, today went very well, masha'Allah! Thats the end of day 35! That is cool, huh? Today I've been thinking alot about how I will look after losing the weight. I keep asking myself... will you be beautiful or ehhh??? Crazy huh?  I don't know how I will feel when I can actually sit in a room full of people and not try to cover my belly somehow. I've been doing that all my life and I wonder if I will ever feel confident in myself enough to break that habit. My face is changing, masha'Allah. I am seeing that my face is actually not round... I wonder how I will look??? Im nervous and excited at the same time. Insha'Allah I will be pleased when I get there. 
Todays eating went good. I had a shake for breakfast, literally a few bites for lunch and a few bites for dinner. I drank lots of water although if any of you sees lemon pepper tang on the shelf...DON'T buy it!!! That stuff is soooo nasty! I almost threw up... literally! I did have two diet pepsis though... that's not great but its not a frequent thing that I do. I had one with lunch and one after dinner. I don't know... all this thinking about my looks and realizing how low my self-esteem really is kinda made me want a snack... I did resist the urge to snack like I used to though. That really is an accomplishment. Before I would have gotten a few packs of oreos and pretzels and coffee and what ever else I could get my hands on from the kitchen. However, tonight I enjoyed a cup of coffee and then a handful of pretzel sticks with my diet pepsi. I didn't over indulge at all, masha'Allah! Well, I've gotta stay focused! I've got a long road still ahead and I can't afford to get lazy or relax at all. I must keep working every moment to get from thick to thin, insha'Allah!