Well, today went very well, masha'Allah! Thats the end of day 35! That is cool, huh? Today I've been thinking alot about how I will look after losing the weight. I keep asking myself... will you be beautiful or ehhh??? Crazy huh? I don't know how I will feel when I can actually sit in a room full of people and not try to cover my belly somehow. I've been doing that all my life and I wonder if I will ever feel confident in myself enough to break that habit. My face is changing, masha'Allah. I am seeing that my face is actually not round... I wonder how I will look??? Im nervous and excited at the same time. Insha'Allah I will be pleased when I get there.
Todays eating went good. I had a shake for breakfast, literally a few bites for lunch and a few bites for dinner. I drank lots of water although if any of you sees lemon pepper tang on the shelf...DON'T buy it!!! That stuff is soooo nasty! I almost threw up... literally! I did have two diet pepsis though... that's not great but its not a frequent thing that I do. I had one with lunch and one after dinner. I don't know... all this thinking about my looks and realizing how low my self-esteem really is kinda made me want a snack... I did resist the urge to snack like I used to though. That really is an accomplishment. Before I would have gotten a few packs of oreos and pretzels and coffee and what ever else I could get my hands on from the kitchen. However, tonight I enjoyed a cup of coffee and then a handful of pretzel sticks with my diet pepsi. I didn't over indulge at all, masha'Allah! Well, I've gotta stay focused! I've got a long road still ahead and I can't afford to get lazy or relax at all. I must keep working every moment to get from thick to thin, insha'Allah!
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