I wonder...

Sometimes I just sit and think and wonder how I will be when I finally get all this weight off... will I ever feel confident?? When will I decide I look the way I want, or will I always be plagued with thoughts of not being beautiful enough??? Baggage from media and all that garb is difficult to ignore. I know realistically that it isn't realistic to look to that stuff as a goal... its unobtainable... still... I'm just too insecure with myself. I would love to leave it all behind and feel confident and be pleased with myself... I dream of that day actually... it would feel awesome... of that I'm sure ;) I pray that I get there... I'm seeing results... today, I was digging into my stack of clean clothes tying to find something to wear... as all of my favorites were in the machine to be washed... I pulled out a dress I hadn't worn in ages... and as I remembered it was always tight, so I tossed it aside in hopes of finding anything else to put on... Well, I didn't find anything else and smirked at the dress and told myself I would have to wear it just until I finished washing my clothes... I was shocked when I slid the dress over my head and it dropped past my belly without getting hung up on anything... It is really loose... Amazement!!! Even when I was on atkins this dress didn't fit this way... That really is something... I know that this should make me feel wonderful... but I still feel soooo fat... I don't know why... but I still feel like I'm no where near done... although I'm not sure if my darlin' hubby has ever seen me this small... yes... I am praying for acceptance and satisfaction with my body... Insha'Allah the day WILL come when I look into the mirror and know that I'm where I want to be... I have gotta find the confidence to get there, insha'Allah...