Hangin in there...

Today has been trying. It's day nine and I'm feeling like I might have messed up. I started out really good, masha'Allah. I had my shake for breakfast, although I had a cup a tea first... I found that starting my day with something icy and cold wasn't very pleasant. I worked out a bit later, as usual and everything was going fine. Here is where things start to get kinda mixed up... I was pretty happy when my hubby came home with fruit so I mixed up a shake with banana, strawberries, half a cup of skim milk and about a quarter cup of thick mango juice. It was delicious, masha'Allah... I later looked at a calorie counter and discovered that my shake had more calories than I had anticipated. It gets even more upsetting... at lunch time I heated up a bowl of soup... no problem there... but I added a slice of cheese to it and grabbed a few pretzels. I am concerned that I have fallen back into my old grabby self... I've gotta get it together. I need to set a plan as to whether I am allowing myself to have anything solid before dinner. I just feel like I've let myself down. It doesn't sound like much but it adds up and I've gotta get it under control before I lose track all together. I have a major fear of failure. I can't afford to fail this time. I need to get this weight off once and for all. I'm tired of my whole life being limited by my weight. I'm ready for a change. I've gotta pick myself up and try harder not to slip up. This isn't easy, but it's gotta be done. Please make dua'a for me, I really need it. May Allah grant me success and bless me with the ability to keep the weight off... ahmeen.